Yea, you heard right.
“Cowboy” Blake Shelton won The Voice for the sixth time with blonde-headed rocker Chloe Kohanski.
And the lady triumphed over a very talented field.
The sultry-voiced Chloe covered Landslide, Total Eclipse of the Heart, Call Me, Betty Davis Eyes, and The Chain on her way to victory.
All rock songs. All coached up by a country singer nicknamed “Cowboy,” who’s been known to take a sip or two during the show to steady his nerve. Well, the medicine must work, because to keep up with likes of exuberant, motor mouth Mikey Cyrus, whip-smart wiseass Adam Levine, ultra-talented, passionate Jennifer Hudson, and smooth-as-silk Alicia Keys, takes some extraordinary verbal agility.
So, let’s put Blake’s modest imbibing in context. He can walk the walk and talk the talk, regardless.
The Voice is about singing music. And judging by the diversity and talent of the teams, all types have a shot. In Blake’s case, maybe more than one.
Because, as everyone knows, music is, and all always will be, full of drinking songs. Be it whiskey, beer, wine or white lightning, booze has been a mainstay in every genre in recorded history.
The blues are soaked in booze. Rock ‘n’ Roll combines alcohol and drugs. R&B? Come on. Jazz was played almost exclusively in bars. Crooners? Ole’ Blue Eyes used booze as his muse on many an occasion. In fact, Jack Daniels has a Sinatra blend. And even though their compositions were instrumental, I’m willing to wager that Mozart, Beethoven, and Wagner knew their way around an adult beverage. Or two. And country music, well, as Merle Haggard once sang; “white lightning’s still the biggest kick of all.”
So, if the all-time champ of The Voice wants to take a snort between car commercials, why the fuss?
And since his genre probably has the best drinking songs, today we’re going country.
There’s a song I recall about a dude like Blake called “Some Guys Have All the Luck.” It was written by a guy named Jeff Fortgang and was covered by, among others, the late pop star Robert Palmer, country gal Louise Mandrell, and most memorably by the ultimate rake, rocker Rod Stewart. See what I mean? Musical categories cross-pollinate like bees in spring.
Blake, having been married twice and looking like he’s headed to the altar with Gwen Stefani, with his looks, talent, and piles of Benjamins, I can safely predict he’ll approach the nuptial numbers put up by the immortals: Zsa Zsa Gabor and Mickey Rooney (9), Liz Taylor (8), Jerry Lee Lewis (6) and Billy Bob Thornton (5). Of course, marriage and divorce also means joy and sadness, which ultimately means drinking. So, Blake will need plenty of comforting spirits as he wanders the country on tour in search of the one woman who doesn’t have a crush on him.
We also know from one of his songs, an ode to drinking (imagine that!), “The More I Drink,” that he loves him some karaoke.
So, let’s raise a cup to Blake and his raspy-voiced champion belter, Chloe Kohanski. They proved that rock and country go down as smooth together as a 25-year-old Pappy Old Van Winkle, a super-rare bourbon that costs a cool $315 a shot or $8,000 a bottle.
Sounds good on a cold winter day, doesn’t it now?